virgo stalkers...?

topic posted Sat, August 14, 2004 - 5:41 AM by  Demi
after reading diy's post about obsession... i was wondering how many fellow v's on here have actually turned into stalkers? i don't mean like scary 'outside your window' shit, i mean just getting so worked up over someone you really like - you send them running for the hills?

i find that i alternate between being a bit obsessive to being very detatched... i have learned to tone down my obsessiveness but then that goes out the window sometimes and i have to hide my phone so i don't constantly call someone i really like. then again if i do like someone and then start to get to know them and they don't interest me, i can cut myself off from them like a surgeon...

do you guys know what i mean...? or am i the only slightly (ahem) pyscho one...?
posted by:
Los Angeles
  • Unsu...

    Re: virgo stalkers...?

    Sat, August 14, 2004 - 6:55 PM
    oh god yes! oh my fucking lord yes! I know what you mean, positively. I chased this one guy away by agreeing that we were just friends but then going after his new girlfriend with a vengance. I thought I could handle it, really I did, but no sir, I could not. All of a sudden I was calling him every night and any time I heard or saw anything she did as even remotely suspect I would spend the whole conversation talking about it with him. Then when she got pregnant, I really fucked it up. I couldn't help myself...I went and questioned his being the babe's father and shit...way to go. And boy did he go! I still miss him, and we haven't been in touch for about 6 years. How sad is that.
    • Re: virgo stalkers...?

      Sun, August 15, 2004 - 7:48 AM
      it's just a reaction inside isn't it. you KNOW it's the wrong thing to do. logically your brain is screaming DO NOT do it... but you still have to do it or you feel like you'll make yourself sick. and virgos are very very good at making themselves sick...

      ms. gosh, it's amazing how we work isn't it...? have you ever thought about getting back in contact with him...?
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        Re: virgo stalkers...?

        Mon, August 16, 2004 - 6:27 AM
        Yeah, I even paid $35 last year to find out where he was living and his number--which turned out to be the same as before. But I couldn't get up the guts to call. I was afraid that I would find out he was still with HER. And I don't think I could handle that.

        A little something cool I saw a couple years or so ago--his parents house being used on "Nash Bridges" as the place where Caitlin (Yasmine Bleeth) lived. I looked them up too, and according to the service I was using to look for this information, they still live in that house. But I didn't call them either. Again, didn't want to know if SHE was still around.

        We are an odd bunch. In any other matter besides this sort of thing, I am cool headed and all--but with stuff like this I am just this side of nuts. Proabably why I am not jumping to get involved with anyone nowadays--kinda brings out the worst in me. Sometimes the best too, but not enough.
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    Re: virgo stalkers...?

    Mon, August 16, 2004 - 7:09 AM
    You are not the only slightly psycho one! I too have been a "stalker" I suppose. I knew I should just lay off and leave well enough alone but in my case it was t he "I need space"...but it wasn't followed with a reason. I pursued this one with a venageance because if I was given a reason I would have been OK and probably moved on no matter how much it hurt....but nothing was given so I went on the psycho to speak.......I drove past the house to see if the car was there....I looked in the window to see is a gift I had given was still sitting out on the table....would drive by the workplace to see if they were at work just never ended.....but I learned a valuable leason from that experience and have yet to repeat it.......THANK GOD.......needless to say this person still lives in the city where I live....we see each other and we say NOTHING to each other....often we turn in different directions!
    • Unsu...

      Re: virgo stalkers...?

      Tue, August 17, 2004 - 4:03 PM
      i read somewhere our sign often becomes more attached to someone we've turned away.. i noticed this longing period i would get after dumping some loser and would catch myself like.. what the hell am i thinking? the problem is with being so mental you can rationalize anything.. like maybe i was too hard on the guy... maybe they still care for me.. that leads into looking for those little clues that they might. it becomes an inner battle (used to be outer until i learned to keep my mouth shut and ride it out) that i evenutally get over. but yeah, spying, prying and reading into things is one trait i'd rather not have!
      • Re: virgo stalkers...?

        Tue, August 17, 2004 - 4:34 PM
        Oh I so understand all of you. Yeah we virgos are prime "stalker" material I suppose. I too have done all the above, however I still see my ex daily because we still live together. How f%&*$@g crazy is that ? The worst part of the whole thing is that she is a Cancer/Gemini on the cusp.
        • Re: virgo stalkers...?

          Tue, August 17, 2004 - 5:11 PM
          do you guys snoop around a lot in other people's things, like especially a partner? i know i do. i'm a big snooper. i always look in the cupboards when i go into someones bathroom just to see what they have.
          • Re: virgo stalkers...?

            Tue, August 17, 2004 - 5:24 PM
            Oh my god...
            I think we are the astrological cat we have to know all there is to everything and we won't be happy until we know it all or we're dead. LOL
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            Re: virgo stalkers...?

            Wed, August 18, 2004 - 5:00 AM
            OMG....whenever I go to someone else's house...if I am there for any length of time...I have a tendency to check out the bathroom meds cabinet.....and if I stay over in the guest room...I look into closets and into drawers.......I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE!!! YES!!!!!!!
            • Re: virgo stalkers...?

              Wed, August 18, 2004 - 5:49 AM
              haha! on the other hand i don't want people spying in MY things and i can get very wary of them so i clean so they can't find anything when they come over. haha we are so nosy!
              • Re: virgo stalkers...?

                Wed, August 18, 2004 - 6:44 AM
                I use to have friends ask me if I could watch their things and my only stipulation was that I would if they did'nt mind me going through everything in it.
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                  Re: virgo stalkers...?

                  Wed, August 25, 2004 - 1:03 PM
                  i woundnt say i was a "stalker" but i used to get really jealous over ex-girlfriends..i have gotten alot better about it tho!
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.

                    Re: virgo stalkers...?

                    Wed, August 25, 2004 - 4:05 PM
                    so is there any hope for us? i know i sent my current gf running for the hills because of my obsession for her. she just didn't appreciate that she was always in my thoughts.

                    i don't know how to to have someone i care about be in my thoughts. i can't help but to think in terms of "we" when i'm with someone. and that apparantly scares the shit out of other people.

                    what's the solution?
                    • Re: virgo stalkers...?

                      Thu, August 26, 2004 - 10:33 PM
                      I used to be a stalker. While in HS, I toilet papered a few guys' bedrooms,later made cakes, knitted sweaters, drove past their houses, called them drunk after breakups and just tried to stay in their lives in some way. I also befriended their girlfriends and mothers.

                      The only thing I can say is that the only way to let them go is to let go. Get back into your own life and just not have them in yours for a while. I am still distant friends with a few exes, but you have to grieve and let go. Take them off your speed dial, your email list, your IM, whatever you have to keep track. After about a year or so, you can always google them or something. You just have to keep a sense of yourself. 'If the Buddha Dated' by Charlotte Kasl is a good way to keep yourself in check and have a relationship on a less obsessive level.
          • Unsu...

            Re: virgo stalkers...?

            Sun, August 29, 2004 - 1:17 AM
            "do you guys snoop around a lot in other people's things, like especially a partner? "

            i hate to admit it, but yes. i have even, shamefully, read a journal or two in my time. one time tho, it was a better idea than i thought...turned out she was planning to commit suicide. i didn't tell her i read it, but i got her to talk to me about how she was feeling and she never followed thru. still, i am reformed in that area...the guilt was too harsh.

            however, i see no problem looking into the bathroom medicine cab or else are you suppose to find out the little things? ; D
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    Re: virgo stalkers...?

    Tue, August 31, 2004 - 11:45 PM
    Geesus is this God talking through you. I am really losing my mind over my on-off gong relationship of the past 6 months. Cops were called once. I go nuts practically hours after we've been together. I have asked friends to call her. I can't function at all right now til she either comes back or kills me.
    And yes the opposite - detachment. I am ready to leave everything and everyone and roam through Mexico because I feel that without her, I have nothing.
    • Re: virgo stalkers...?

      Thu, September 2, 2004 - 4:29 AM
      Carl I'm not sure that is really healthy! I mean I have been there in a way, but I can't go on the same way you have. I think it's got more to do with my other planets than anything else. Sometimes you have to let go and deal with what amy come at you no matter what it is. You have to be the earth that grounds you in your deepest self, and let it guide you to find your own roots.
      • Six
        offline 5

        Re: virgo stalkers...?

        Thu, September 2, 2004 - 11:34 AM
        I'm so glad I found this topic,

        This has happened to me before. The person... ALWAYS on my mind, getting exaughsted with deep daydreams of them. Sending them way to many emails in a row before they even have a chance to reply to the first one. Calling there phone, never leaving messages, then thinking, "oh no, what if he has caller ID and sees how many times I called in a row!"
        ...Sitting and planning something to make up, an excuse to talk to them...
        Writing stories about them, I wouldn't dare let anybody read, along with poems and doodling pictures...
        I'll find out where they work and live, and just "happen" to be passing through the neighborhood, secretly hoping to bump into then, PLANNING to SPONTANEOUSLY meet them again!
        there is just way to much thinking and insomnia!

  • Unsu...

    Re: virgo stalkers...?

    Wed, September 8, 2004 - 4:01 PM
    Can I show you the multitude of peel-out marks in my driveway where they have thrown themselves into REVERSE and went SCREECHING out of my life?... the cloud of smoke left by their tires obscurring their rapid departure, never to be seen again.

    You are, (ahem) by no means the only slightly psycho one...

    would you like references? <grin>
    • Re: virgo stalkers...?

      Sun, September 12, 2004 - 3:15 PM
      as some one that is being stalked by a virgo i was wondering if any of you could offer any advice as to how to get them to stop? I prefer not to go to police as it is not life threatening, just incredibly annoying and disruptive. Telling them to leave me alone has not worked as this person has zero respect for other peoples boundaries, not just mine. So any advice you could give would be very helpful. thank you
      • Unsu...

        Re: virgo stalkers...?

        Sun, September 12, 2004 - 11:48 PM

        ...... why can you not communicate with her/him sincerely ? we are all humans, equal ... I believe if you can talk sincerely instead of ignoring & avoiding ...... s/he will understand, have you ever tried to communicate with this person ? have you ever respected this person enough to be fair if you would like to say the word respect ? ... I assume you are grown up big enough to communicate with "humans" ... isn't there anything you might need to learn from it also ? ( communication ? ) what did you do or not to do to cause this ? I believe we all encounter others or particuler type of people for a reason/s ... to grow & learn ... I have seen so many ugly ending in relatioships in my life not only mine but especially others ... what really cause is mis or no communications ... very sad & ridiculous ....... is there anything you want to say for this advice ?

        be wise & be strong,
        blessings ...

        a mermaid
        • Unsu...

          Re: virgo stalkers...?

          Mon, September 13, 2004 - 1:21 AM
          dear foolishfish ...

          I was gonna go to bed since I have to go to san francisco tomorrow to see my friends which will be a long drive & so much to do for the trip & during the trip that I needed to rest, but it's bothering me so I need to speak up knowing about you through the other tribe ...

          I can assume you have been silence about this issue then you had the urge to drop in on this thread that it needs to be solved ... I know you have been studying astrology a quite while so you know the planetary alignment now ( not only now & what's going on in the universes ) that we must work on the issue/s we have left behind or pretended as if that doesn't exist ... & you are being pushed for the cleansing & healing ... so confront it & do what you can do better & sweeter with your wisdom.

          I just wanted to tell you that it is good, I sincerely wish you for the best luck on this issue & all of your other issues ... I am from a different culture, I have this samurai spirit in me that I like to be sincere & face the problem / conflict directly face to face, so I have the experience of being called for police twice in my life in this country, even being inside the police car ... they just couldn't handle the situations & couldn't face thier own weekness ... I was in love with them but I moved on after that, ... like I said with this samurai spirit I couldn't be with the weekness any longer although they tried to get my attention back after that, ... I loved them but I wouldn't go back ... no matter what, love must not be treated like that, the abusive game, love is sacred ...

          so I hope you can confront with this person looking into the eyes & speak the truth, not by phone or email or anything like that, ... we humans are not that bad, ... when we are treated right we do the right thing for oneself & others & for the world .... because we feel & see respect & sincerity there ...

          foolishfish, I know that you are a great person ( through the tribe ) ... & I also see that you will regret at the end of your life if you don't do the right thing ....... you love & care humans very much ....

          good luck, hope you will be released from the issue soon & be happy knowing who you truly are ...

          love & peace on earth,


          a mermaid

  • Re: virgo stalkers...?

    Mon, September 13, 2004 - 10:28 AM
    Although there are Virgo stalkers represented here, I don't think stalkerness is a Virgo trait. None of the Virgos I have known personally have been stalkers, myself included. I do believe that some signs attract stalkers(mostly water signs), but because they will listen and offer understanding to those others might not listen to, Virgos also attract stalkers. I've had 3 stalkers in my life, one was a man who wanted to kill me for dating his ex-lover, so that's a different type; but one was an Taurus ex-gf who couldn't let go for years. She would show up and try to have intense conversations with me in inappropriate places all of the time. I told her multiple times(directly to her face, mermaid sutra) how I felt, not playing into her drama, but she wouldn't back off. I ended up having to ignore/avoid her until she finally gave up. The other was a Taurus, also.
    My guess is that it would be some other planetary ruler(Moon? Venus?), or some other Aspect(your Venus to their Moon?), that facilitates the attraction. I could be wrong, though...perhaps certain Virgos have something that negates this trait, but I hadn't heard of this before now.

    Now about snooping into other (interesting)people's personal items...reading journals...looking for secret photos? Hmmm...I've HEARD that some Virgos might possibly engage in such behavior, but it hasn't been proven(;>).
    • Re: virgo stalkers...?

      Mon, September 13, 2004 - 10:19 PM
      oh well this last one offers hope. but what about if you put two virgos together? will they stalk each other to death intil they finally implode in a fit of passion?
      • Re: virgo stalkers...?

        Wed, September 15, 2004 - 5:24 PM
        Well, I am a virgo. I saw this tribe and this particular topic had me join :-) I do feel tendencies toward obsessing however, I have never "stalked" anyone. I have found that the best solution to dwelling to much on a person and the want to call all the time and spend every waking (as well as unwaking) moment in their presence is to concentrate on myself and doing something that makes me happy. If I focus on the things in my life that center me and create peace in my mind (i.e. creating pottery, reading a good book, etc.) calmness overtakes the obsessive tendencies. It is definitely not an easy transition from obessive to centered, however we virgos have strong wills and incredible focus. If anyone can do it, we can! I for one know it is possible - there is hope :-)

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